I was standing waiting for the kettle to boil, daydreaming and a probable revelation came to me.
This was early September and I had been feeling tired, lacking the drive required to focus on a couple of projects I’d taken a rest from.
I had spent the Summer months building and planning my Live the Life You Want Club; a Membership and an exercise I enjoyed. Much tougher than I expected, and it kept me super busy. But that was only the first step to my membership. Even now it is evolving.
So I probably wore myself out.
You may know that I am an EFT practitioner and Overwhelm, Stress, Anxiety, Emotional Trauma are my Specialist areas.
So back to the kettle boiling and my sense of being more energized than during the recent few weeks. And something dawned on me. A thought, probably a reality.
This is the first time I have allowed myself to take proper time out in months. And so my body was responding.
It was taking its chance to do some mending. I recognized this and just meandered through the next few days. I did some sitting at the computer, gardening and when it was not too hot outside or raining, I went out on my electric bike with Herb. But I was not at all able to energize myself into the business side of things.
Besides the obvious fact that I had deserved to give myself a rest, it was strange because I had been very comfortable with all I’d been achieving. So, stress maybe wasn’t the sole driving force to my lethargy.
To get to the point of my story, I realized that the low feeling, the ‘God I can’t get focused!’ self-talk, had something to do with allowing myself to feel sad, to heal a sadness.
My sister died in January of this year. Her funeral was 4 days before we were off to New Zealand and Australia for 5 weeks. My thoughts at that time, in the moments when I was able to focus on anything, were all over the place. In hind sight I was stunned by stress.
When was the funeral going to be? Would we get our holiday?
Those were the questions I had. I had no idea of the answers, and it does sound fairly crass.
I was deeply upset by the awareness that the development in her health could only be terminal. She was not going to get better. Divine timing intervened. Hellish time.
So today as I share my writing I realize that besides recharging my batteries, I was acknowledging a massive emotional trauma. And although I help others to better manage and work through stressors, trauma and anxieties, that does not make me immune to emotional pain. Yes I may have the tools and the understanding but I too ram up the blocks, the blinkers to shut out horrible realities.
Perhaps you can relate
But I acknowledged that I was feeling sad that day. It finally filtered through to my conscious brain. And caused a little sadness and emotional pain.
Points I noticed
- Yes I had been working hard. But that was a choice. I want to build a membership and focus more keenly in a niched Health Coaching direction.
- My body was/is responding to my foot being taken off the pedal. My body grasped the opportunity to do some regenerative healing. It has re-jigged several things.
An example to help you to understand this point; please consider all the preparation for a holiday. You finish work, perhaps driven to have everything in place (many folks do this, and a pat on the back for those who do not).
When you arrive at your holiday destination sometimes your health takes a turn for the worse! When you relax from a stress, your body says ‘Thank you, I will now do some healing’. And at a conscious level we do not like this experience because that is when we feel ill.
Perhaps you have had this happen to you and you have angrily thought: Why now when I am on holiday?
What I had probably been doing
Let’s assume (never something I recommend but needs must) I’ve been blocking feelings without conscious awareness.
During this period of time and up until now I have been thinking about my sister regularly. Asking her opinion, hearing her answers, missing her.
I am the only one left from my birth nuclear family: my mother, father, sister are gone, only me left. A tough penny when it dropped.
And you know, Life goes on… and that is what we must all strive for. Let us aim to get the most out of every day.
Use all our senses to feel, see, touch, taste, hear the good things that surround us.
If you are sensitive to mood swings, sense difficulty in finding the joy in life’s more wondrous moments, I suggest you search out tools and techniques to change your Mindset or emotional state. You do not need to stay in the low state.
That is only a belief, a self-punishment, or kept for a Secondary Gain. (Of course it an almost impossible thought for someone struggling with Depression to find the energy to try to undertake some Self-Healing).
EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) Tapping is an excellent tool you can use as a quick fix to change heightened levels of stress and anxiety.
As a transformational tool to heal emotional trauma, strong negative beliefs and troublesome thoughts, it is widely practiced and achieves wondrous results.
I have been a work in progress for quite a while. We never stop learning.
So, the next time you are waiting for the kettle to boil, catch yourself and your idle thoughts. They are subtly trying to tell you something; something worthwhile.
Have a special little notebook for your observances.
Your senses are keen markers to what is going on within you. It might be fun to see if an intuitive bent comes out and you can acknowledge what you are being told.
You deserve; be kind to yourself
I work with a variety of clients. I have specialist areas: Women’s Reproductive and Intimate Health, Vertigo, Stress and Anxiety. However my client base seeking support and guidance, is wide.
Please contact or message me if you want to find out how I can support and guide you to live life in flow, to attract life’s abundance and to feel emotionally stronger and physically healthier.
Call me. Let’s chat so you can find out more. Mobile: 07917 680967
Susan is the author of ‘Survive and Thrive after Trauma‘.