The Beauty in Death

Thank you Tom Sweetman for this beautiful contribution.

‘Tom, I have no regrets and did everything I wanted; make sure you live your life to the fullest.’

Mum’s last words to me.

Life for me has been a journey of many roads. Sometimes I have driven well and the journey was good. Other times I have misjudged the bend, gone off the road, been stranded with no breakdown recovery insurance.

A life changing event put me back on course. In April of 2012 after four years of dealing with her cancer, my mum passed away. It shocked me to the core. Months had been spent at the hospice experiencing grief which had left me feeling lonely, afraid, numb, and with a sense of thinking that I was not going to be able to carry on. I had truly come to one of life’s blocked roads. Trapped and stranded with no one seeing or hearing me. It was in this moment after her death, I realised I had to let go of everything I was thinking – things that were holding me back. I must allow for change to find a way through.

At the funeral, the church was full. I realised how much one person can affect a whole community. Many people were sharing my mum’s legacy and I saw how she had made an impact on their lives in some way. It also started to show me a hidden beauty and in the following months, I had a shift, a major turning point leading to great realisation. I needed to have a greater understanding of grief: a process which I would then share when assisting others suffering from the death of a loved one. I wished to be able to shed new light on how they feel and use it to empower them to move on. I wished them to be able to honour the life of their loved one and to be able to feel gratitude and love instead of grief and loss.

The death of my mum has led to the birth of my life’s work. I have purpose and to me it is a gift for which I am deeply grateful. It has provided me with a path to follow and such a clear road map. I believe I know what is on, and also what is in, the way.

The work I now do is providing grief transformations through my ‘Let Go Process’. It assists others in transforming their experience of death and loss. I would like to share with you two thoughts which may empower you on your journey when coping with grief.

‘When listening to others, try to sit and be a witness to them in a place of non-judgement. Remember we are human ‘being’ and a lot of the time, we forget this and become human thinking and human doing. Deeper connections arise when we are present with someone.’

‘One of the biggest insights I had when my mum was in the hospice was that during the times we find difficult and painful, we can later become empowered. We can raise our self-awareness, and trust that we can let go of the grief and pain.’

Tom Sweetman Please visit me at: www.tomletgo.com and www.facebook.com/tomletgo

When I wrote my book Survive and Thrive after Trauma in 2012 a section shares interviews with those now thriving after an emotional challenge. Those I interviewed who shared their message will have continued along their path of increased learning, self joy and self awareness. We are not alone; should we choose we can learn from others, take and use information generously shared, be encouraged and in some cases, be enlightened.

I met Tom 2 years after his contribution in Chang Mai, Thailand; how lovely is that!