Hints and tips to encourage forgiveness

Hints and Tips; same message different delivery

1. gentle and subtle
2. the clear as crystal approach

 So when you seek guidance, help or coaching with areas of emotional pain do you need the clear as crystal approach or the gentle and subtle approach?

I expect the gentle and subtle approach would be the preferred way but you know, sometimes a reality check can be just what’s needed- with no sugar coating.

Physically wounded people need professional attention. They also need kindness and time to mend after treatment has been given so the gentle approach may stand out as the better solution. Broken bodies and deep wounds may need quick, direct and speedy action; and once the treatment is in place then a kind and gentle approach can be followed.

Why might some of us treat emotional wounds differently? I welcome comments.

Hints and tips to encourage forgiveness

 The gentle and subtle approach

1. Being unforgiving only hurts you.
2. Constantly mulling over grievances stops feelings of contentment or possible joy from entering your world.
3. The person who upset or traumaisted you has probably forgotten the incident or does not realise the effect their actions or words have had on you.
4. However justified your feelings there will be an opportunity when you can choose to forgive.
5. Allow Nelson Mandela’s example to give you strength and hope:  ‘Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies’. 

The clear as crystal approach

1. Being unforgiving is a form of self punishment and there will come a time when you can choose to move on; move on today.
2. You may be justified in feelings of unforgiveness, justified in your resentment and desire for retribution but what good is it doing you? Write 3 good reasons for staying with this pain then write 3 good reasons for releasing this pain.
3. The person who caused you this emotional pain may have no idea or perhaps they don’t even care about their actions; they have moved on and are in their power –  you have not moved on and are in a state of powerlessness
4. Forgive today and allow more music and pleasure to come into your life.
5. Nelson Mandela forgave  ‘Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies’.  You too can forgive because we all deserve to be kinder to ourselves; we can give this gift of kindness to ourselves. It is an opportunity to be reborn.

I am the author of Survive and Thrive after Trauma and time is unquestionably a healer. I had issues around forgiveness and I have now forgiven; some resentment lingers I’ve no doubt but nothing is set in stone. We can all heal.

This is Part 3 of a series of blogs.

Part 1: Are you big enough to forgive?

Part 2: Where do you vibrate on the Emotional Scale?  which shares the Emotional Vibration Scale.

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