Fear of being made a fool of- Best to just get over it

When I give a Talk  I make light of this statement but it resonates with many: ‘ Someone like me is responsible for many of the problems of the world because

• I am a mother
• I am a teacher

Point of Interest:  How did you react to that statement? Did you think it egotistical or a straight forward fact of life?

We all can blame (and praise with love and thanks) our mother or a teacher for many of our beliefs.

So, my second teacher story.

I must highlight the fact that we sadly retain a negative comment rather than automatically focus on a positive.  I enjoyed my time at High School. I was sports champion on two occasions, later a Prefect and had wonderful friends. However an incident in Second Year, England equivalent Year 9 stayed with me.

Tart of a Teacher.   (Note the instant trigger reaction)

I went to a small High School and was the first person in my year to have a brace on my teeth. During an English lesson on a particularly beautiful sunny afternoon (Yes we do get them in Scotland)   I may have been reading a section from Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream. The English teacher, a fairly unpleasant creature,  mid lesson uttered the words-

‘Susan, is that a brace I see glinting in the sun?’  I ask you? I probably gently cringed. I have no memory of the class laughing, I don’t think they did.  We all knew she was a cow. But certainly I look at it as a cruel unnecessary thing to say to a fourteen year old girl.

Also not surprisingly, I harboured nasty thoughts and wished nasty things on her. A couple of nasty things did happen to her a couple of years later.

Nowadays I appreciate the phrase Be careful what you wish for.

I actively promote visualising and giving energy to positive things.  The message is sent out and can indeed come back to us with what we asked for. (In some form!)

But how may that situation affect someone?  How did it affect me?

I was cheesed off with her surprising cruelty. I was aware I thought it cruel and unnecessary and I believe my friends thought the same. And no I don’t think I am disillusional  🙂

The fact that I can’t tolerate anyone making a fool of me seems relevant.  But I recognise that trigger and don’t necessarily plan revenge, although a glimpse of knocking someone’s lights out does fleetingly jump into my head.

In all seriousness I cannot stand violence. I think in a past life ……………but that’s for another blog.

If old triggers of insecurity rise within I may tap if necessary or dismiss them because I don’t need to react to someone’s wanker behaviour.  

(Note-it still gets a reaction from me ).

Fortunately it does not seem to happen often.  When we recognise our buttons are being pushed we can choose to address it .

My point

• This is how a negative belief can have an effect and impact on people’s behaviour.  

So when hackles rise I breathe and release otherwise that person’s behaviour impacts on me.

If my sister reads this perhaps she may comment on my success in being less confrontational when someone ‘takes the p…’.

 

P.S.   Quite enjoyed the gentle rant.