Right! For a start we can try to get it right but coping with a first baby or a powerful tour de force toddler can leave you somewhat shell-shocked at times. Be mindful when you start beating yourself up over it; try to remember Tigger and the joy he found with life.
My observation, learning and hindsight:
You have not failed if you can’t get it right – who’s rules are you going by? What is right?! It’s probably the hardest job you may do.
I may appear to be writing mainly for women but I assure you I am not. A mother ‘s instinct is there the instant her child is laid in her arms; the father takes a supporting role during pregnancy and birth but I feel very strongly that the father should and can be an equal partner in parenting.
Perhaps some men believe that they have been
Not an easy balance, certainly in the beginning; however your baby will blossom with two less stressed parents.
I work in the Stress and Anxiety world and specialise in EFT Tapping. Previously I was an Infant and Reception teacher. I specialise in relationships and the Parent and Child Relationship is one such group.
These tips, links and recommendations may be useful.
Please let me start with a little story.
When I was teaching Year 1 in Scotland (Reception Class in England) one of my new charges was George. I had already taught George’s brother. Two younger boys were also in the pipeline. Mum had warned me that George did not fancy school much and may be a bit difficult.
If my memory serves me right Day One of George’s school life seemed to be fine. However Day 2 was a different matter.
(Now this is the relationship any teacher usually strives for with a parent. They want to have them onside! Just as the mother/parent wants the teacher to treat their child with care and consideration).
Anyway, George’s mum said she’d hide further down the corridor and wait and see! George was not a happy boy.
I sat him on my knee; he struggled and wriggled and was quite strong. He said quite determinedly,
‘I’m going to cry till the school goes home!’
I said, ‘Well George you’ll be crying for a long time the other boys and girls are here today for quite a while.’
I was thinking ‘ Good grief I hope he doesn’t.’
I started reading the class a story with George plonked on my lap, one arm holding him in place.
If a mum is
then the process of going to school can work quite smoothly.
I really loved that school, the chilldren and parents. It was 1980s in the Scottish Borders. Teachers instictively felt secure and able to comfort a child without fear of inappropriate behaviour being reported. Of course I know that times have changed and many children are able to make the transition to school much easier; Nursery, Toddler groups all pave the way.
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Specialist areas: Divorce and Relationship issues, Fertility and Mother/Child relationships, Emotional Trauma. Susan is the author of Survive and Thrive after Trauma.