Susan Cowe Miller
Holistic practitioner helping you to release the effects of stress and trauma from mind and body
Call Susan: 07917 680967

Secondary Gain- my light bulb moment

Releasing negative beliefs

Releasing negative beliefs

Here is an explanatory  extract from my book Survive and Thrive after Trauma. A SG (Secondary Gain)  certainly worth holding on to; but not nice when the recognition of perhaps some self pity is found running around in the subconscious.



Susan’s Secondary Gain probably not my only one!

I include this as an example to help explain a SG.

I was learning Matrix Reimprinting and my trainer was the wonderful Ted Wilmont. I have used artistic licence here and have incorporated two separate learning opportunities through which I understood a substantial SG.

Scenario: Ted listening to his students who are practising with each other:

I was attempting to release my thoughts, ties and the ghastliness around my husband’s death. The numbers mentioned relate to the number of intensity of the distress I was feeling. A one is a very low stress level and ten is the highest number of the stress intensity.

Me: Well, I can get my number down to a number one. I’ve tried to clear it and can’t. But a one is fine. It’s OK.

Ted (interrupting): OK, Susan, why can’t you just get it down to zero? Why can’t you let it go?

Me: I don’t know. Ask me again.

Ted: Susan, why can’t you let it go? Get it to a zero?

Me (raising my voice): I don’t know! Ask me again!

Ted: Susan, why can’t you just let it go?

Me (shouting): I don’t know! I don’t know! I don’t know (shrugging).

Realisation              Well bugger me!

Bloody Hell!                      I don’t deserve to let it go.

I need to punish myself!

And also … If I let it go, I will not have my husband to blame – to blame when I feel angry. After all, poor me, look what I went through!

I have an excuse.

If I do not have that excuse then I am responsible for my behaviour (ah, no thanks!). Then I can’t blame him. I am responsible. I can’t hide any more behind my wonderful excuse.

But the excuse is only an excuse. Only in my eyes because: ‘There are none so blind as those who will not see.’

I laughed or smiled with disbelief when I realised what was holding me back. It is very interesting and fantastic when it shines out at you. I love it when clients have their ‘light bulb moment’.

Question: Can you recognise an area in your life where you think you may harbour a S.G.?

Clean question: What would you like to have happen? What needs to happen for that to happen?

Explanatory resource taken from Survive and Thrive after Trauma.


My work in EFT and Matrix Reimprinting can really get to the guts of an issue and when a Secondary Gain is discovered, negative beliefs are released  and a whole new agenda for a better future can be put in place.


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Rachel – Psychology graduate
I was quite surprised with my session of EFT, and especially the Matrix Reimprinting which I hadn't experienced before.
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Allison Marlowe
I am very open to trying new therapies but I wasn't expecting such a quick result from working with Susan. The one session we had together completely changed my thinking patterns.
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Maria Kielty
Susan expertly guided me through the Matrix Reimprinting sessions; 3 to change past traumatic memories and 2 on future imprinting. I can honestly say that I know emphatically that everything will be okay.
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Rowlands Castle, Hampshire.